It hurts my heart when I see the ever-present struggle of being jealous, dissatisfied, discontent, anxiously trying to keep up with the Joneses, not like a sport, but a job. Most people want to be as good as the next, accepted, held in good opinion, but where does it get us, to not to be our own best friend? Everyone is so hard on everyone else. People work hard to earn their keep. Often, these attitudes are noted as, always having something to prove, but still remain in a catch-22, if not authentically executed. It is a lot of work to always need more. It is less work, and more rewarding to learn how to self-love and not compare our lives, wages, material goods, skills, attributes, abilities, or titles, when identity and purpose is attached so tightly, to others. Paradigm shifts are a choice. We can choose to believe that the grass is greener in our own backyards. We can acknowledge that the life we’ve built, no matter what stage or season it is in, is beautiful.
Most everyone wants to make a good lifestyle for their families, but what does it mean when one person has more than the other? Anything at all? The idea of the bigger house, better career, having more successful children drives people crazy. Being better off is about our own goals and health, not those of others. Our measuring stick is not what others say or think, but what we want for ourselves. Competition is good and healthy in all areas of life, but not in the form of feeling bad about yourself because someone has more. We all have different paths, all have different struggles and life circumstance, all of our lives look different all the time. We are entangled creatures of past, present, and future, rarely steady in the now. But if we can get our eyes off of what a good life is supposed to look like, we might be satisfied with the one we have.
The argument exists to get what you want in life, you lay the figures out, plan well, work hard, and go get what you want. This system works, as long as everyone in that process aren’t lesser human beings. Sooner or later, no matter how much you have or don’t, or how happy you are or not, we all look in the mirror and say, “You’re all I’ve got.” Not that we don’t have loved ones, but ultimately we take responsibility for ourselves and our own happiness. Why not be the dream right now? Why wait for circumstances to change before enjoying the life we have? We do not need that one more thing to happen before we are content. We can be content now. We can be kind to ourselves. Whatever our financial, or family issues, we have a choice to love our own lives and be proud of ourselves.
We might do the same things in and out everyday, but we can feel good about them. Stress doesn’t have to lead to a mess. We can strive for more, but it is who we are that is most satisfying, in the qualities of the human being, not money, not possession. Everyone loves the great human struggle, to see the heroic tales. Well, our own lives are just such if we see it that way. Harsh comparisons that lead to putting others, or yourself down make for dissatisfaction, even if you are the one that has more. Instead, being happy for someone else, wanting the very best for someone else is liberating.
It seems hard to escape the excessive need for approval that is commonly exhibited throughout our social and media culture. It’s often comparing our lives with bias and prejudices making for such a small world. Instead, allowing ourselves and others to share space, to live without feeling dissatisfied, without complaining about every little meaningless thing, without feeling constantly at odds, jealous, angry, bitter, or not as good as the next can open up a whole new world of potential, contentment, community, and self-love. Our paradigms can be our strengths or weakness. Valuing material wealth has nothing to do with your importance as a human being or anyone else’s.
Love your life. The grass is always greener- here, right where you are, right where I am. Time is too short to not be in love with what we already have. Everyone has their life, though all things vary and change. What remains is ourselves, no matter what changes have occurred inside, or out. The best we could ever have is who we are. In this, we find what we physically attain means very little in the face of self-love, and love for others. The grass is greener in ourselves. It is greener in the daily appreciation of the process of ourselves. We all can feel like we have nothing at times, or no one, but we all have everything. The most beautiful life you could ever live- yourself.